LMAO

Women's English
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
We need = I want
I am sorry = You'll be sorry
We need to talk = You are in trouble
Sure go ahead = You better not
Do what you want = You will pay later
I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
You're very attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

Men's English
I am hungry = I am hungry
I am sleepy = I am sleepy
I am tired = I am tired
Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
I love you = Let's have sex now
I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
Can I call you sometime? = = I'd like to have sex with you
Do you want to go to a movie = = I'd like to have sex with you
Can I take you out to dinner = = I'd like to have sex with you
Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay

Life Before the Computer:
a memory is something that you lost with age
an application was for employment
a program was a TV show
a cursor used profanity
a keyboard was a piano
a web was a spider's home
a virus was the flu
a CD was a bank account
a hard drive was a long trip on the road
a mouse pad was where a mouse lived
and if you have a 3 1/2 inch floppy.............. you just hoped nobody found out.